08 January 2010

Thinking too much

A Friend told me she'd lend me a book on this.

What is the alternative to thinking too much though? Filling up your days with mindless actions in order to switch off your head.

I found myself sitting in the car waiting for my dad to finish at the shop yesterday afternoon. I had to finish a phone call, and then make another one, so at first I was pleasantly occupied. Then I sat there, and realised I have nothing to do, immediately I reached for the Cellphone again to go on-line, or play a game or something.

Anything to not think? I don't know. I know I can't do nothing. My idea of relaxing is lying in bed reading a book. It's a lot of people's idea of relaxing, but it is also a mind occupying action.

Usually while I smoke ( Outside) I have my thinking time. I enjoy my thinking time, and I use it to sort through to do lists in my head, ponder issues, etc. But not for to long.

The length of one cigarette. Which is for me about 5 min. Then I go in and act on my thoughts, or I go on to something else.

I decided to cut the previous post short as I find it quite painful to dig into my Issues with my mother. I'm sure the next time she responds to me in a negative manner I will have to continue the story, but please forgive me right now for just leaving it as it is.

That's also a topic I don't want to think too much about.

I have absolute selective memory about a lot of things in my past, and my childhood is one of them. I know there where good times as well as bad, and I don't particularly like digging them up.

I know that this forms a big base of therapy, and seeing as I am doing this blog as a form of self therapy I know I have to face it all eventually. But for right now, today I just want to waffle about non important thing.

Time to get back to work. Enjoy your weekend

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