20 January 2014

Long time no post...

I know it's been a long time since I posted. Which generally indicates that I'm feeling okay so no need to vent.

I have become more and more aware of my anxiety issues, and triggers and trying to manage those. Shopping is a HUGE one. I have found myself being okay with general anxiety and managing it unhealthily with smoking. Specific triggers like shopping, and news reports about children being harmed, and bad things happening to people, are harder to manage though.

I try to not read the newspaper, and stay away from triggers, but my dad seems to like reading me the worst stories from the news paper, even though I ask him not to do it. These things stay with me and fester. I start imagining worst case scenario's and everything that can go wrong with my daughter and husband.

I struggle to let it go and work myself into a frenzy. Luckily I have only had to take my Ativan twice in the last 3 months, and I see that as an achievement. It doesn't help much to calm my brain, but relaxes my body, especially when I have actual physical shock reactions to these triggers.

Otherwise things have been okay. Depression is on the back burner, and I generally have more energy. I still need to nap in the afternoons, which I blame on my medication, but I'm succeeding in being as productive as possible in the mornings.

A new school year started for my daughter and I decided to be pro active and write a letter to the school regarding the Bible study issues we had last year, in order for them to make alternative arrangements for her from the get go. So far so good. I'm still waiting for feedback.

I'm very positive about the new teacher though, and hope this year will be more successful than last year. Unfortunately daughter is already having trouble finishing work, which has only been colouring work so far, and I am a bit scared of when the work gets even more. Apparently 2nd grade is a lot more intense that 1st grade, and I think she actually needs to learn some time management skills, but I don't really know where to go for those. Our budget is also very restricted. I'll talk to the teacher about this though, and we'll see what can be arranged at the school.

I'm also gonna keep a close eye on her energy levels seeing as she has quite a few extra mural activities. But I am willing to cut them if needed.

I hope we all have a good 2014.including you all.

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