09 March 2010

Wow It's been hot

Eish it's been seriously Hot in Cape Town the last few weeks, culminating in Yesterday where it was about 42C (108F)in the area I live and work. Luckily I have air conditioning at work, but nothing at home, of course, and I was very concerned for poor Cait the whole day.

How glorious this morning to see rain, and hear thunder. It's still a bit muggy inside, but outside it's cooling down lovely.

I'm feeling better. I had such an awesome weekend. We spent Saturday shopping, and then a good friend and her significant other (one of the few people Arno actually likes, and wants to spend time with) came over for a braai.

We had a fantastic time. There was drink and merriment. Kids had fun playing/annoying each other, and I got to let my hair down for a change.

How awesome to have friends with whom you know you can just be yourself. No reason to worry that you might offend them, as they do know you better than that.

Well I had a bit much to drink, and had a terrible hangover Sunday morning, but got over it quite quickly. Then we spent Sunday afternoon with family, around the pool, and just generally having a good time. Except for Arno.

I have no idea why he makes up his mind to NOT have a good time when it comes to spending time with my family. Sometimes I think, if only he'd just let his guard down a little, and allow the fun, he'd be so much better off. It's like he decides before hand everything will be crap.

Okay he wasn't keen to go in the first place, and usually I would just leave him, but this was someone's birthday and I thought it appropriate that he go. Well he refused to swim ( It was darn hot) He sat there grumpy and complaining, and even left halfway to go home and get Caitlin's hat ( we live around the corner) stayed away for about an hour, and then as soon as we finished eating insisted on leaving.

Caitlin was having a great time. My cousin's were there and her second cousin's are all ranging from age 3 to 6, and she was having so much fun. He tried to force her to get out of the pool and get dressed, with no persuasion at all, just force. This didn't work very well so eventually I told him to just go home, I'd get a ride with my dad.

I refused to allow his grumpy mood to affect my fantastic day, and I spent quality time with Caitlin in the pool. I just wish it didn't have to be that way.

If it was only like that occasionally or for a specific reason, I guess I could still bear it, but it is such a bad habit of his, and mostly I struggle to deal with it. How can I feel close to someone when they refuse to even try to pretend to have fun when I do? No wonder I am constantly feeling tired/stressed/drained. It's hard work to carry on and enjoy life when your partner insists on making everything gloomy.

So while I am happy and strong I don't let it affect me. But when I am not so happy and not so strong it affects me badly. I still don't see a solution.

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