01 March 2010

Crash Boom Bang

The sound of me hitting Low. I could not stay awake yesterday. Firstly I can never sleep soundly past 8 on a weekend morning. That's the time my 3 year old wakes up at the latest, and she never allows me to sleep later, so when I first dragged one eyelid from the other at 12pm on Sunday I knew something was wrong.

Physically it is impossible for me to sleep that deeply that long. I wrote it off to having a few drinks the night before, but I did not feel hungover in the slightest, I just felt physically drained. I still do.

I dragged myself to the couch downstairs, attempted to keep my eyes open, and failed miserably. 4 drinks don't do this to me. I spent most of the day in and out of naps on the couch. I attempted to force myself to get up and play with Caitlin but my neck could barely keep my head up. Luckily I seem to have a very patient, and forgiving husband, who kept Caitlin busy and also completed the household tasks.

Eventually he made dinner, we ate. I tried to force myself to bath Caitlin but I couldn't even walk up the stairs. I had to get her out of the bath and dress her, and it was excruciating. I almost fell asleep with her on her bed. Eventually I dragged myself out of there, forced myself to shower and pack her lunch, and fell on my own bed exhausted.

I read a bit and fell asleep at the normal bed time for me. I had a bad night though, tossing and turning. So by this morning I felt like I hadn't slept at all.

I even had a low blood pressure episode when I got up this morning, but managed to get everything done I had to. I feel slightly better than yesterday, but still physically drained.

Now in order for this to be a Bipolar kind of Low, that means I was coming down from up high.

Since last week Wednesday I have been very frustrated and angry, so was that a hypo manic episode? I've been googling symptoms, and irritability is one of them. I just thought it was my hormones.

Saturday I was doing a bit of the "life of the party" thing and I did have a little warning bell go off in my head, but I still thought, nah I'm fine. So I guess maybe it was. It would have to be for me to hit such a physical low, wouldn't it?

Mentally I'm okay, just tired. Thoughts dragging and not really willing to do much. Late Sat night I went out with a friend. The 4 drinks didn't affect me much, physically, but mentally I also started dragging, so maybe it was a combination of factors.

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, but it very rarely kicks me in a low by itself.

So now I'm just hoping it passes swiftly and I get to go back to a nice level normal.

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