23 March 2012

Falling to Pieces


I expect a leg or arm to fall of soon. I honestly stopped smoking in order to be healthier and not get sick so often and be there for my daughter for longer, but since then. Flipping Hell. It's been one thing after the other.

I've never listed them all in one go so here goes. And please. This is just me. I've not lead a really healthy lifestyle, so I guess as I get older I reap the years of sloth. So this is by no means to discourage anyone from stopping smoking.

1. Failed a Lung Capacity test this morning. I most probably now have Asthma again
2. Bipolar, which was not caused by stopping smoking but aggravated by it
3. UTI, which I have so often it';s not even a surprise anymore - only thing not related to smoking I guess
4. Need a Gastroscopy, I have a possible stomache Ulcer. I guess we can Hopefully rule out Cancer because of nr
5. Gained a Shit Load of weight in a short period which means
6. (pending blood test results) I am now once again most probably Insulin resistant.

So there you go Kids. THAT is why you should not smoke. EVER

oh and
7. I need some serious dental work but way too poor after the above, and way to scared of dentists. So toothaches can wait.

What I am thankful for is that I have a fantastic GP who is helping me through everything step by step, encouraging me to forget about the weight for now until we sort out all the other crap, and making me feel looked after.

And that since I am on the Bipolar meds I have started to actually feel okay emotionally. I'm normalizing here. spreading out, coping, breathing. No freaking out.

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