23 February 2010

Meeting my Soul Mate: Part 1 Two Soul mates and a Fragment

On the first evening I met Lanee, she channelled information for me. I still have the tape and listened to it again a few weeks ago.
It’s amazing how much information I missed at that first meeting, as there was just one thing I was really interested in.

Being 22 and in and out of meaningless, hard, non flowing semi-relationships, I wanted to know about relationships. I wanted to know who I was meant to spend my life with, if anyone.

I forgot how close I was to giving up at that stage. I was tired of this life, and I had lost hope. I did have comrades around me, but very little Soul Family, the few around me where younger souls, so I very much felt like an adult surrounded by children. I had earlier spent about 2 years with my Twin Essence, a very close connection, but one so intense; we could never be more than just platonic friends. Looking back I know the best for us, in this life time was to go our separate ways as we quite easily prevented each other from attaining the goals of this life. My decisions around our friendship caused one very obvious split in probabilities for me, and sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I followed the other path. But that’s a story for another day

Meeting Lanee was like an injection of magic and rejuvenation into my veins. As clearly as she had been waiting to meet me, I had known for so long, be it subconsciously, that I had to meet her. That night proved to be the start of everything I had been hoping for.

My relationship with her, on a spiritual level was quite clear and obvious, to her, but my own validation and realisation only came much later. We are both fragments of the same essence. I could identify with so much she had experienced, because I had been feeling the effects of her experiences in my dreams and subconscious. She knew me inside out from the very first meeting.

She had a couple of years on me, but in essence we where the same. That first night I asked her how old she was, and she said “How old do you think I am?” I said “36?” Turns out she was 63. She knew my most secret inner thoughts like they where her own, as they where in some respects.

In Spirit we where together. How interesting, magical and awesome to meet another human being who knew how you felt, why you felt it, and completely understood your inner struggles and desires as completely as another facet of yourself?

We also started mirroring experiences shortly after getting together. This, for me, in hindsight seems to be the biggest reason why we could not stay physically together for very long. What use in a Soul having more than one fragment if the fragments joined forces where they where supposed to have separate experiences. I could be wrong, have never really read much more on this.

Lanee and I were not mirror images, but we were more like different colours of the same dress, different petals on the same flower, and different expressions of the same essence.

Well in her first message to me she told me I had met 2 of my soul mates in this lifetime. The one I have a pre-life agreement with to share this life, and who I had spent many past lifetimes with, I had met when I was 16. We had shared energy at that time, and I had felt like I was “Not good enough for him” That was not the right time for us to be together in the right and proper way, so we had “lost touch”

I knew who she was taking about, but to my own frustration and disbelief I could not remember his name, and spent the rest of her message, thinking about this, rather than listening. Good thing it was on tape and I could listen to it again later.

While Lanee and I took a break in the middle of her message I got it in a flash. Anton. I blurted it out, and as I said it I knew it wasn’t right. It was almost right. It wasn’t completely right. Anton….Anton…hmmm

I also told her there is no way that we Can be together, because even though I had lost touch with him, I knew for a fact that he was married and he had a baby. I had much darkness in me at this stage, but I could not break up a marriage.

Lanee just told me to chill, and let it be. That night, at home I remembered his name. Arno. Not Anton.

Next time I saw her, I told Lanee. It was easily explained by her, but I only got my validation of her explanation much later, so I was still sceptical.

She said he’s been Anton in a recent past Life, actually one in which we where both male, stage performers in France. The place she thought I’d be coming from.

She told me quite a bit, which I will share with you, before sharing the validations. We had spent many lives together, but often we would not complete our relationship. There was mostly something that separated us, some taboo (The gay thing) or some other reason why we would be separated.

He had spent more lives as a female than I had, which meant, in this life, our roles would be very much balanced, and non traditional.

She told me she does not think he is still with his wife, and she does not think he has any spiritual connection to either her, or the baby. It was purely Karmic. I had trouble to accept or believe this.

She thought I would probably meet him within 2 weeks from getting back to South Africa, but I would meet someone before I went back, who is an old comrade of his from past lives, and will give me just a bit of a taste of how it would be, to find him. This Comrade will also help me clear Karma around my only other incarnated Soul Mate, let’s call him D, who I had met when I was 18, and still had very many unresolved issues around.

She also told me in no uncertain terms, these are probabilities, and that she could not set a time frame around anything, as time is quite challenging.


3 Weeks before I returned to South Africa I met Rob. Up to Rob I had not really truly had a relationship. My life was filled with flirtations, one night stands, and other self destructive relationships. Rob artfully picked me up in a bar; I artfully tried to ignore him, as I chose to not agree with Lanee’s “prediction” of a Comrade. How could I cheat on the Soul Mate I knew was out there?

I told Rob I only have 3 weeks left in the USA ,the last thing I needed was another attachment I would find hard to break, and I also wasn’t interested in a one night stand. In Hind site this was probably an attractive prospect for him, as we had no hope for anything other than just Fun. He didn’t give up.

Firstly Rob was very handsome, and I couldn’t honestly see why he would be interested in me at all. I decided to give it a shot and see what happened.

I got attached, my own fault really. We proceeded to spend every free moment together. I thought it really unfair that I would meet someone so close to going home, when I have just wanted to have someone to share my love with, for so long.

We had fun though. It was great. I had never really felt so comfortable to be myself, never experienced the kindness he had given me, and I very quickly introduced him to all my friends.

With a few days to go until I went home, we had a big party for all of them, and I was going to introduce him to Lanee as well.

While I had Arno, as my right and proper mate for this life time, Lanee had Jack. She had been together with Jack in the past in this lifetime, but they had been separated at that time, and she had no idea where he was. The same message I got about being reunited with Arno, Lanee also got about being reunited with Jack.

At about the same time I got involved with Rob, Lanee also met a fragment of Jack’s. For the first time in years she allowed herself this diversion, left the house, and had fun (the mirroring thing)

In any case, the night of the party one of my friends tried to seduce Rob, and almost succeeded. I was livid. With her, with him, with myself. Why could they not just wait the few days before I left?

This was my Karma though. Rob honestly told me after I had arrived in South Africa that he did sleep with my friend the moment I left the country. This hurt quite a bit. It was my Karma.

The other Soul Mate I talked about was also in a relationship when we met. Even though I always said that was not a rule I can break I did. I slept with a man who was in a relationship, and up to that point I could never forgive myself, even though his partner never found out, and it was a once off slip.

The pain of Rob and my friend’s “betrayal” was quite severe, and for the longest time it coloured quite a bit of my life.

I never realised how attached I had gotten, I also never realised that an emotion can become a taste in your mouth. A Thick cloying taste of sweet betrayal. Up to that point I had never realised what I had done in being with someone who was already attached, and this feeling, and the memory of it is one of the only things which later saved me from destroying my own marriage in the same way.

Back to Arno

Before I left the USA Lanee gave me one last tape. She said to listen to it on the aeroplane, and to not be upset. In that message she told me to not actively search for Arno. That her time line had changed and the 2 weeks had become between 3 months and 2 years.

I was very disappointed. I wasn’t sure if I could NOT look for him. He was supposed to find me, and I was supposed to have faith that he would, when the time was right. To be continued…..

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