Forgive and forget

My last therapy session focused a lot on forgiveness, and building bridges that were burnt down, between me and some people. I had to try to make a mental list of which bridges I would like to rebuild and then tackle those relationships, sacrifice my pride, even when I had been right, and try to build those relationships again.

The hardest part has been deciding which were truly toxic relationships, which I should be glad and relieved are over, and which should I salvage, if any. 

Firstly because I live with my dad, I have been trying to be more positive, and try to see his good parts instead of constantly focusing on the bad ones. Instead of expecting him to freak out at me everyday, like he mostly does, I have been trying to be nice, and friendly, even if I don't feel it.

It has made a huge difference, and I had just started to feel good about this relationship again, when he told me today he can't sleep at night, he's going to drink a bottle of wine tonight.

I begged him, pleaded with him, to Please please not do it. If not for himself for me. He has completely disregarded my pleas, has immediately started picking fights with me about everything, and I can barely look him in the eye now. 

I can't do this again. I don't know how to get out of this, but I can't stand this again.