Struggling more than I realised with this.

I'm having such a rough time with this. I don't quite know why I am taking this all so badly. To recap, My 6 year old's grade 1 teacher recommended that she be evaluated for ADD, because she is not finishing her work in class.

After talking to the teacher though, I figured out it is more a problem of the relationship between her and the teacher, that has suffered some damage somewhere. 

Things the teacher complains about is that, She shows no emotion, either good or bad in class. And if the teacher in any way asks her to please complete her work she will shut down and refuse to do anything further.

I spoke to the OT at school, and they recommended we do their evaluation first, but then they spoke to the teacher, and she told me that they said she doesn't need OT, from what they saw of her work, and what they discussed with the teacher, and that I should rather take her to a psychologist.

Then my psychologist gave me a very short Connor test to do, and both mine and my husband's test does not show a need to evaluate for ADD. ( I haven't received the teacher's one yet)

So Friday I was convinced I was gonna go for the ADD evaluation ( which is a lot of money) But after doing the Connor's and not getting a high score, I think it will be a waste of time and money.

I've made an extra appointment with my own psychologist for tomorrow, as he is the only one I trust at the moment, to give me straight advice.

But since Friday I have had the most horrible nightmares of my daughter dying, and being kidnapped, and all kinds of horrific things. I wake up crying. I hate feeling like this.

Some of the kids in her class told me Friday that she is very naughty because she had to sit and work at the teachers table, and she is so slow. I feel that she is being bullied, and it feels like my child is being damaged by this situation, and I feel helpless to help her.

I wish someone could just tell me do XYZ, and that will solve the issue

I wrote the teacher an email this morning that she must please just send work that's not completed Home, so I can see if she also struggles to finish at home. And that I believe the reason she is emotionally withdrawn in class is because she feels victimized by the other children, and that kids withdraw emotionally as a protection mechanism.