Dealing

I haven't written in a long time. Mostly because I have been avoiding some issues and I have tried to deal with other issues, in different ways.

Things still seem better still I have been providing my brain with nicotine, and it has definitely helped my anxiety issues.

I've been spending a lot of time on studying. I signed up for a couple of course on Coursera. Think Again: How to reason and argue, and Introduction to Philosophy. They are running concurrently right now, so I am neglecting the philosophy one, but I am enjoying having something constructive to do to alleviate my boredom.

I'm currently having some issues with my daughters teacher at school, that have been upsetting to me.

She doesn't seem to be very supportive of her, and have also done some things that are totally unacceptable to me.

A while back my daughter had a conversation with a friend at home about where plants came from, and it touched on evolution. She then had a similar conversation at school and the teacher told her she's not allowed to talk about it. Which I Do Not understand as evolution is in the curriculum, and they are eventually going to study it in science.

I ignored it though, because the year is almost done and I wanted to rather keep the peace.

Then 2 days before Halloween, the teacher had a discussion in class, and according to my daughter she said that Halloween was the devil's birthday. I was so upset I sent her an angry email the moment I found out.
She denied it, but my daughter said she was lying, and I can't imagine that she would just make that up. We have never even discussed the existence of the devil.

Then last night my daughter told me that the teacher regularly threatens kids in the class, with sending them to the principal, where they will be spanked. Spanking in schools are against the law, so this will never happen, and I have a huge problem with controlling kids with fear.

I was quite upset to hear this, but haven't said anything to the teacher. I did tell my daughter that no one is allowed to spank her EVER. Which seemed to make her feel a bit better. I'm just so sad that she's had such a crappy year in Grade one.

I'm now starting to doubt everything this woman has had to say about my child. I really feel that some of my daughter's performance issues can be attributed to this woman's attitude towards her.

I also believe she has a huge problem with our Secular Humanism, and non religion, and me being quite adamant about it.

I'm just hoping next year will be better, as my poor child is already showing signs of anxiety, and does not enjoy school at all. I'm sure this can change if she is in the right class, with a decent teacher.

Struggling more than I realised with this.

I'm having such a rough time with this. I don't quite know why I am taking this all so badly. To recap, My 6 year old's grade 1 teacher recommended that she be evaluated for ADD, because she is not finishing her work in class.

After talking to the teacher though, I figured out it is more a problem of the relationship between her and the teacher, that has suffered some damage somewhere. 

Things the teacher complains about is that, She shows no emotion, either good or bad in class. And if the teacher in any way asks her to please complete her work she will shut down and refuse to do anything further.

I spoke to the OT at school, and they recommended we do their evaluation first, but then they spoke to the teacher, and she told me that they said she doesn't need OT, from what they saw of her work, and what they discussed with the teacher, and that I should rather take her to a psychologist.

Then my psychologist gave me a very short Connor test to do, and both mine and my husband's test does not show a need to evaluate for ADD. ( I haven't received the teacher's one yet)

So Friday I was convinced I was gonna go for the ADD evaluation ( which is a lot of money) But after doing the Connor's and not getting a high score, I think it will be a waste of time and money.

I've made an extra appointment with my own psychologist for tomorrow, as he is the only one I trust at the moment, to give me straight advice.

But since Friday I have had the most horrible nightmares of my daughter dying, and being kidnapped, and all kinds of horrific things. I wake up crying. I hate feeling like this.

Some of the kids in her class told me Friday that she is very naughty because she had to sit and work at the teachers table, and she is so slow. I feel that she is being bullied, and it feels like my child is being damaged by this situation, and I feel helpless to help her.

I wish someone could just tell me do XYZ, and that will solve the issue

I wrote the teacher an email this morning that she must please just send work that's not completed Home, so I can see if she also struggles to finish at home. And that I believe the reason she is emotionally withdrawn in class is because she feels victimized by the other children, and that kids withdraw emotionally as a protection mechanism.