30 April 2010

On the edge

I haven't written anything for so long because my life has just been so busy. I spent two weeks at home. The first was because my daughter was too sick to go to school, and then in a show of great kindness and sharing I caught her bug. So the second week I was too sick to do much, and she was still recovering.

I've been back to work this week, and one thing after the other has meant my life has become this incredible feat of juggling and I'm on the edge of dropping some balls.

I really have been in a decent mental space lately, even with chaos around I have tried to keep myself grounded in the values and beliefs that I have been working so hard to explore.

I guess for the longest time now I have been concentrating to hard on those that the practical aspects of my existence have taken a bit of a backseat and are now catching up with me.

I was exploring a very interesting topic in my mind. Something I'd like to write about in order to explore it even more, but now I just can't make the time for it.

So I'm living a bit in my head again, where things are getting slightly fuzzy and out of focus. I just don't have the time and energy to focus on more growth right now.

I think for the next month or so I will really have to concentrate on practicalities. The company I work for is once again not doing so well, so there is talk of selling. This means I could be without a job soon. I have ignored this fact up to now as I was hoping we could save it. I also have exams coming up end of May and feel ashamed to admit this, but I've not done a thing. I have a lot to concentrate on.

In between all this my Husband has serious problems with his job, my medical aid is gone for the year, and I am surrounded by a bunch of amazing friends who I have been neglecting terribly, and feel very guilty about. But right now in order to not fall of this edge, and drop all the balls I'm gonna have to put a few of them down in order to make sure I don't drop the breakable ones.

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